Love Shahs of Sunset but I Draw the Line at Persian Barbie's Veneers

Watching Shahs of Sunset helps me remember what it was like working in a Beverly Hills Persian/Jewish neighborhood years ago. Persian women were beautiful but came across as abrasive. Persian men were passionate, egregious and they loved women - all women, even hippie-punk me.

Watching the show, I've come to love their culture so much more. I love the flashy clothes, cars and jewelry. I'm a Jersey girl. This is exactly how people rolled in my native NYC 'burb. I see a lot of animal lovers, here; Mike, GG, Lily and MJ all have dogs that are a part of the show, and not just any dogs, but Pitbulls who are featured prominently in their luxury condos. I love this.

I love that Asa believes in herself enough to put herself out there, and girls like her and MJ are super curvy and are brave enough to wear swimsuits, and sports bras and run around as if they look like Bar Rafeali. It is refreshing to see Honey Boo Boo-like confidence becoming the trend in reality shows. Anyone can become a beauty queen with the right attitude, right?

On the other end of the reality show spectrum, where we found Heidi Montag and Gene Simmons on the operating table, we find Lily who is rail-thin, with giant breast implants, 3 heads worth of hair weaved, and nipped, tucked, sucked, plucked, filled and frozen to look forever 37.

Lily is over-the-top super perfection and she is charged with my latest celebrity plastic surgery grievance: the pocelain veneers.

Just like the duck lips that plague the aging Hollywood elite, these dangerously denture-like veneers have found their way onto faces like Lily, the Persian Princess, Nicki Minaj, and on many other botox-paralyzed faces.

Although it is entertaining to watch the folks with these porcelain veneers speak, I can't help but wonder if they hear that sound of spit crackling on their teeth the same way we do at home on our HDTV's. These smiles are a little too white and so perfectly formed with teeth placed so closely next to each other that they are dentures, to viewers like me.

Now these young celebrities have gone too far. They have gone so far into the future that they have transformed themselves into older... much older people. Lily has become an old lady by covering her teeth with the same type of fine china chompers that people who never took care of their teeth and have lost or broken them have.

Take care of your teeth, ladies, and please don't "improve" smile by taking your teeth straight from their wonder years to their golden years with veneers if you don't have to. You don't want the only thing separating your teeth from your grandma's is the fact that she takes hers out at night!